Song on my mind...

You know, there are songs throughout time that will never leave your soul. And I think this is one of them. "C'est Ci Bon" sung by Eartha Kitt is the most amazing recording. This petite woman has the voice of the world in her.

I wish I would have been able to see her perform live before her passing in January 2009. She was still performing and interviewing through her fight with colon cancer, and she still had that cheerful and gracious attitude.

I hope that I can sing this live someday...while I can sing in 5 languages, French is not one of them. I can attempt, but it would sound like poo. I'm going to have to get my mom to help me with the phonetics.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lK2Li67ln68

Stimulate something please

With the passing and editing of the stimulus package, I just think to myself that SOMETHING's gotta stimulate...and I know a lot of my friends need some stimulating, too.

I was raised in Decatur and Forsyth, Illinois. Most people have never heard of Decatur, even though there are over 80,000 people in the "city" and is a HQ for a Fortune 500 company that is the largest manufacturer of soy & corn products--ADM. Decatur also has a office for Catterpillar. A plant where production could turn from farm machinery to military tanks within minutes! (if the country every needed it) Lastly, Tate & Lyle has is HQ'd in Decatur. T&L has a plant, Staley, that produces products from renewable food sources. So, class, what's the business trend we are seeing here???

IT'S BLUE COLLAR. Agriculture & manufacturing. Which means what? This city cannot afford job losses in this economy.

While ADM had an upward trend compared to the downward forecasted revenue reports, Caterpillar has decided to reduce departments/locations across the globe. Thousands of workers are being laid off, and Caterpillar chose Decatur as a location to shut down some areas in order to save money.

Jobs lost in a blue collar town where other jobs are not plentiful to begin with?

It's devistating. I have friends that have friends and family at Cat. If hundreds of people are losing these jobs, but they don't have anywhere to go, these workers' families are put into a horrible position and reality. This reminds me of what happened when I was growing up...

Bridgestone Firestone had a huge plant in Decatur, and it had been open for over 50 years and had about 1,500 employees alone in this ONE plant. The plant closure happened around the time when Bridgestone had its tire recall that ultimately had them losing MILLIONS upon MILLIONS of dollars. Decatur was really never the same. There were tons of workers unemployed, families without income and no other jobs for these workers. ADM and Staley were immediate go-to's for a lot of people.

I grew up in the Midwest (obviously) surrounded by corn and soy fields. And if you grew up in this area and have experienced winds, rains and tornadoes, you would probably know and believe that these natural things could lead to a lot of good jobs, fuel/food sources, etc. We need to reinvent the wheel and model for "what is normal" in living, purchasing, and producing.

We need to believe that the money put into it now is an investment on what could come out of it. We need to be a leader in the world when it comes to using our brains and our own resources to live off of. Not someone else's stuff. We need to stop being greedy and lazy and thinking that everything will just come to us on its own and fix itself.

Please, let this economy stimulate...

Bong It Baby…Doug Strickland’s Letter to Michael Phelps

Public Defender’s Office
Richland County, South Carolina

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Mr. Phelps-

Phew. Wow man, I bet your mom is PISSED at you. Trouble again in the public eye—tsk tsk, you naughty bird. For once, I’m glad I’m not you. Still, you’re lucky it was only marijuana and not something dirty like meth. Just look at what happened to Sarah Palin’s daughter’s future mother-in-law when everyone found out she was selling meth to 12 year olds. Talk about a downward spiral for one’s moral fiber.

Rest assured, everyone will forget the bong picture just as quickly as they forgot about the DUI thing. Give it a month, and it’ll be old news. Well, now people are talking about the DUI again since the bong picture spread everywhere like my ex-wife’s legs at the annual golf charity event. But that’s a whole other conversation. Or “convo” as you kids call it. But seriously, this is no biggie.

I bet you’ve heard what’s been going around Richland County about you possibly facing criminal charges, but I want you to know a little secret. In the 21 years I’ve been working in the Public Defender’s Office in Richland County, I can’t remember a single person being charged with drug possession. Yeah, 21 years, buddy. So don’t sweat this too much. And that idiot sheriff, Leon Lott, is a joke. Don’t tell him I told you this, but he came on when Miami Vice was on-air. It’s like he secretly wanted to be wearing the white linen suit and bright t-shirts, and thought it would be fun to be sheriff. Haha! What a dim-witted idiot.

Subsequently, I propose a plan of attack for you just in the slightest case your sweet ass ends up in lock-up here. First, I would definitely make a donation somewhere. I dunno, maybe an animal shelter or something? Chicks really love guys who like animals. And you could take your dog on a tour of shelter stops or something. Next, I would write a public letter just letting the youth know the importance of staying away from drugs, how you regret your bad decisions and tell your experience with them. Maybe leave out the experience part, because there’s nothing better than getting wasted with your buddies and smoking the gonja while eating nachos and Oreos. Damn I miss my college frat parties!

But seriously though. Usually, the other druggies caught in the past paid a $500 fine or were put away for 30 days tops. If by some strange twist of fate, Miami Vice Sheriff Lott and his funky suit put you in the slammer, I’ll personally make sure you’re taken care of. I have those strings since I'm the head of the Public Defender's Office. But you gotta play it cool homie.

Ok, I gotta peace out. My secretary is coming with me to take a deposition...if you know what I mean. Yeah BUUUUDDY! Hit me up on my cell if you’re worried.

Keep the bong dream alive-

Doug Strickland
Head of the Richland County Public Defender’s Office

P.S. I’m not sure if you can do this, but I’m sending my Michael Phelps calendar. My best friend got it for me for Christmas but I was waiting to meet you someday and make it a collector’s item. Now, I think I’ll just hang it up in my office next to my phone. Do you think you can sign it for me? Thanks, bra.

The Bean Vandals

I stand corrected...the second person's name is quite legible. Given premature information on the radio.

The Eternally Infamous Peter S. (or is the S really a 5?)

Today, Chicago was hit with the disheartening news that their amazing and semi-virginal “Cloud Gate” has been maimed. The majority of the population will know Cloud Gate as “The Bean” in Millennium Park. And here is a brief history of The Bean and how it came about.

The Bean was constructed about 4 years ago by British artist Anish Kapoor after he won a design contest held by the city in search of a local piece of art. Anish made The Bean out of 168 stainless steel plates that reflect sides of the Chicago skyline. No offense to NYC, but Chicago’s skyline is amazing and stretches over 20 miles (believe me, because I walked 20 miles of it for the AFSP Overnight Event in 2006). And I’ve been to NYC to see the skyline. So, I find myself able to make such a statement.

The last two stages of the construction included an intense buffing of the steel plates as well as polishing which left Cloud Gate the shiniest philly the Midwest had ever seen. Interestingly enough, The Bean was constructed based on private donations only without any public finance. Which is probably a good thing considering the final bill for this art was estimated at $23 million, shockingly escalated compared to the initial estimate of only $6 million. HOLY CRICKEY!

While driving to work this morning and listening to WGN Radio for traffic updates, I heard the funniest piece of reporting and commentary between John Williams and whoever he was talking to about the story. For this story, we’ll call him Sean Connery. And here is my attempt to recreate (with a twist of Meridith in there):

JW: So, Sean, what’s this about the Bean being vandalized last night?

SC: Yeah, John, it’s a sad story of th…

JW: (interrupting) Wouldn’t you think it would be too cold for someone to be doing that. Ha!

SC: Yeah, it was cold but don’t think it took them that long. Cloud Gate, or as most of you may know it as The Bean, has been vandalized. Peter S decided he wanted to go down in history as the first person to etch-a-sketch his name into the shiny silvery belly of The Bean. Well, I guess it could be Peter 5 but I think it’s probably an “s” to symbolize the initial of his last name. Maybe he’s a mathematician! *giggle*

JW: Oh wow, could you imagine the police searching the Cook County database with all people named Peter S? Could take YEARS to find that guy. *chuckles at his stupid attempt at humor*

SC: *confused silence*

JW: (going into recovery mode) Well, how big is the name? I mean can you see it? I wonder if they will try to buff it out or something. The Bean is so SHINY! It just is tragic that this happened. But I mean it’s been four years. So, I guess it was clean that long.

SC: You’ve got a point there, John. The Bean has been so loved by the city and all who come through Chicago that I think it demanded respect until last night. I don’t know exactly about getting the name buffed out but yeah…you can definitely see it. Looks like Peter used a pencil or a pen or a nail or something sharp.

JW: Yeah, it’d have to be sharp to get etched into that steel. Well, how big is it?

SC: It was small compared to the entire size of The Bean being so big. But I’d say it’s a pretty decent size…you know…about 3 inches. (pause)

JW: (pauses because they’re both thinking the same perverted joke that’s not allowed by radio regulations)

JW: Yeah, that’s a pretty big scratch. Big enough to see.

And THAT’s where I had to laugh out loud and change the channel back to B96. I heard an update on The Bean on WGN Radio while driving to and from appointments. Looks like Peter S. (or possibly Peter 5 as the WGN Radio reporter so observantly found) was with another person who also scratched his/her name into The Bean. However, due to the illegible nature of the name, it cannot be read. Hence, that person matters none whatsoever to this story or forever in history. Sorry! Should have learned to write. Then you’d be as popular as Peter 5…I mean Peter S!! Damn it! I’m already forgetting his name.

DECAPITATION OF THE PENGUIN

Groundhog Day was sad realizing that we’ve got 6 more weeks of this awful winter weather. Chicago winter brings the dryest air into my apartment. Furthermore, the dry air makes my cats’ fur all staticy and shocking. There are times, with the lights off, my sheets will literally give off enough electrical static I can see sparks in my sheets...and that happens to be the most action those sheets have seen all season. I've gotten used to the fact that a lot of vintage apartments still use steam heat. That's fine, because steam heat is the warmest heat I've ever felt. But it is no help for the air.

The past few weeks I debated whether or not to just buy a humidifier for my living room to help put some moisture back into the air. Each time I passed the shopping aisles, I saw a gazillion humidifiers all promising to cure me of the horrible static cling that causes me to check my behind every time I wear a skirt and tights. StaticGuard has one loyal customer in me. For the past 2 months, I bet I've probably kept them in business. Still, I kept putting a humidifier on the back of the "needed purchases list"…that is until I went to the store and saw the PERFECT one to fit my personality. Case in point:

This cute little humidifier was small enough not to take up too much space in my living room and has been the static-be-gone promise of any working humidifier. Plus, I don't want to grow out of my college attitude and still have a ridiculously childish piece of machinery in my apartment. The one problem of this miraculous machine? My cat keeps decapitating it. No joke. The first three mornings of using the penguin, I woke up to find my penguin decapitated by my cat, Will’s, own doing. He attacked the helpless machine in the middle of the night when he knew I couldn't save my beloved machine from it's brutal death. Sunday morning, he even took off the body of it. Will is a bit of a bully and quite strong. So, the poor plastic penguin had no steaming chance.

But two can play that game. I decided to put Will in his place by taping the head to the body to the base with black electrical tape. This morning I awoke to a fully intact penguin humidifier. This seemed to piss off Will, as he preceded to stand in front of the penguin staring at it. I truly believe he was waiting for his evil stare to scare the penguin to tipping off his own head. Then, he moved to the other side of the ottoman, where he stalked the machine.







That’s when Grace, his twin sister, got into the action. She laid on the window sill staring at the steam making it’s beautiful cloud-like billow out of its whale-esque blowhole at the top of its plastic head.



Sometimes I truly wished they would chill out and let me breath my newly humidified air in peace.

Weekend Reflection

The past couple days, I’ve experinced a few things that were enjoyable, refreshing and depressing all mixed into one.

Yesterday was a national holiday—Super Bowl Sunday. Instead of preparing a massive amount of gut-wadding food, I spent my afternoon going to see Spamalot with one of my best friends. I was a virgin to the show, but my friend had actually seen it in London while on family vaca a couple years ago. It was freakin’ hilarious! There were a couple of Blago quips and a reference to Beyonce’s “Put a ring on it.” And it was good to get out and see a production—especially since I miss performing myself! After the show was over, we grabbed a quick dinner and rushed home so I could see the game…or most of it.

Some of you might have noticed on Super Bowl Sunday for the past few years, Animal Planet has staged its own “Puppy Bowl.” http://animal.discovery.com/tv/puppy-bowl/puppy-bowl.html Unlike what seems like most American families, mine didn’t focus too much attention on football. However, we had a very animal friendly house. So the puppy bowl is freaking awesome to me! I’d much rather watch puppies running around and being cute any day. Still, I found the puppy bowl a true distraction from the actual game. I lived in Phoenix after college and was rooting for the Cardinals! Here I was trying to really focus on the game, and I kept flipping back to the freaking puppy bowl and worrying the stupid poodle pup was going to get run over by the cocker spaniel.

I should have kept watching the Puppy Bowl, because my team lost. Yup, the cardinals lost it! At half time I was calling my friends back in Pahonix and heard them all at the bar drinking and hoping the 2nd half would be their redemption. And oh did redemption come with Fitzgerald’s TD with a little less than three minutes left in the game. While I was jumping around screaming at the top of my lungs and taking other phone calls from friends, I slowly realized that if the Cardinals could have scored in thirty seconds then the Steelers definitely had the time with their two plus minutes. Welp, we all know what happened.

Then, getting the company email letting everyone know who won the Super Bowl pool was awesome. I was on the top 4 winners for the losing team. But I still think I got a gift certificate for the jelly of the month club or something. If only I hadn't given up carbs...what am I going to do with 12 of the nation's best jellies and jams?

"Taken" must be the best thriller in 2009!

Got back from seeing Taken with my buddy, Elizabeth. It's now 10:29pm CST and I am not in the mood to go out after seeing this movie! Seriously...TMI, but...I'm still pitting. This movie was like a good cardio workout for the better part of 60 minutes of the movie. Instead of doing stairs or running, I'm going to buy this movie, watch it on repeat and hope the popcorn and chocolate don't add any extra weight.

Liam Neeson is sexy, and I don't care if he's my dad's age (or close to it). He kicked some major apples in the movie and proved himself to be quite the action hero. Move over Matt Damon and your Bourne trilogy...and entre vouz Mr. Neeson.

I hope that this movie does well in the box office because Lizzy & her cousin hadn't even seen previews for it before we went tonight. On the other hand, I had seen the trailer as well as Neeson's interview on The View. It mixes a real global issue of human trafficing, mixes in the thriller aspect and international drama. PERFECTO!

I will never say "good luck" the same way again...if you see the movie, you'll understand. I would recommend this for a theater visit, not just a Netflix rental.

Ode to the Chicagoan driver in snow

Auf wiedersehen to the first full work week in January 2009. I thank you for going by quickly and (for the most part) painlessly. Last night, as my friend and I were done working on our fitness, we were walking in the frigid cold back to our cars. Realizing I had 1 full day left in the week, I thought "Damn am I lucky this week flew by. Friday's going to be a cinch!"

And then I got home and turned on the news...and saw the weather forecast...of 3-6 inches...with fog...and ice...and of course, idiot drivers of Illinois. Now don't jump off the handle! I'm one of those idiot drivers of Illinois. However, I take pride in the fact that I know when to slow down the choo choo when the weather is shiteous outside.

Did you know that today's snowfall marks the 21st measurable snowfall Chicagoland has seen this winter? JUST this winter...it's amazing. What further amazes me is our inability to not drive like idiots in this. You would think after all these years, we'd learn.

There's always that person in the SUV or truck. You know the one. Thinking because they have 4WD they can plow along, going 50 while everyone is at 25 or 30, spitting the nasty slush on your car and breaking too late/too close to the car in front of them.

And so begins my first blog, Ode to the Chicagoan driver in snow:

*Ode to you Mr. Infiniti FX 35, license plate number G11 9933*

I think it's hot how your SUV can plow through the slush and the falling snow as you continue to rush upon the traffic ahead of you. Your total disregard of the other cars break lights is a huge turn-on. Do you see the break lights ahead lit up like a Christmas tree? Yeah, that means they're A) breaking or B) stopped.

I realize that Mr. Lexus in front of me got into the left lane as you were approaching us, but please know Mr. Lexus had plenty of room to get in front of you without making you have to slam on your breaks. As I, too, got into the left lane behind you, the distance between us became greater and greater as you refused to slow down or reduce your speed. Or perhaps, you just weren't paying attention to everyone else around being at a much more reasonable speed.

As Mr. Lexus mad his way back into the middle lane, I thought it quite chivalrous, Mr. Infiniti FX 35, how you sped up along side him to flip him the bird. I appreciate the fact that you stopped your car (in the middle of traffic with us having the green light) along side Mr. Lexus to continue yelling at him through your passenger window and his. I wonder if he heard you.

Furthermore, I found it quite endearing when, as we finally approached the red light and stopped to wait our turn for the next green, you put your car into park, got out of your car, went up to Mr. Lexus' drivers window, demanded he roll down his window, yelled at him, calling him a bizzy & kitty cat (insert the profanities with those clues) and told him to get out of the car if he had something to say to you.

How lucky your wife must be. To see you get that angered over road rage that you would actually uproot yourself from your car in this kind of weather! Such a strong man...

Do you NOT see that there is traffic behind you? Or that there's snow? Or that the green light might be coming? And I'll be damned if I miss another green light because you're trying to prove how big of a man you are as you curse Mr. Lexus out through the 3 inch crack he created as he rolled down his window.